I kind of needed an article like this one today – even if it was in the Daily Mail, and a blatant sales pitch (Marie Helvin’s new lingerie range!) disguised as clickbait – because I’m having a severe pre-Christmas slump and wondering what the point is. I’ve had forty-four Christmases and with no one to put on a big show for, I’m feeling 100% over it.
I’ve got a kind of abstract, non-specific depression that the claustrophobic onslaught of Christmas is exacerbating. It’s not directly connected with my lack of family, although Christmas is terrible for making people feel worse if they don’t conform to the norm. It might also be hormones, I should point out.
I know if I had kids I’d be twice as stressed with it all. It’s more like: do I really still have to buy into this bullshit? Like Helvin, I feel like strolling along the Champs-Elysees instead of pulling overpriced crackers (more in a metaphorical sense).
It’s the first time I’ve felt like eschewing Christmas entirely: do you just get too old for it if you don’t have kids?
Different Shores 
For years, I spent my holidays working, but now I’m kind of enjoying doing something special for myself.
I make it a point to make (or buy) myself a nice meal, to buy a split of bubbly, even if it’s just Prosseco, and I put a little something aside to buy myself something indulgent. (It doesn’t have to be expensive, this year it was a grand total of $10 spent on a stencil of squares that I’ve really needed for an art project.)
I’m often alone and I’m working on how to be alone. But a small celebration helps.
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Thank you JupiterDrive, I hope it’s just a funk and I can shake it off, because really, any excuse for a celebration is good, in truth…
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I recently found out that a colleague at work doesn’t celebrate Christmas (at all). She used to work in sales. She says this “cured” her for good. And I do understand after I heard all the stories about crazy and stressed customers. She lets everyone else celebrate Christmas for themselves the way they like it, but is very happy spending a quiet evening all by herself.
There is no right or wrong with how you spend the holidays. It just has to be “right” for you! If you feel like travelling, go for it. If you feel like throwing yourself a party, that’s perfect, too. I like JupiterDrive’s approach since it shows so much self-love and self-care.
I am sorry you are in a slump. I do hope it will get better as the hormones change (it usually does for me). Sending you a virtual cup of tea and warmth, Different Shores! I really appreciate the exchange we have via our blogs.
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Thank you Elaine, I appreciate them too
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While I do have kids… There are still up years and down years, which is completely normal! It’s also how I ended up in Rome one year… I was over all the hype and needed something new. Give yourself a break and maybe just enjoy ignoring it all this year!
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I love your Rome trip, it looked great..
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I think it comes and goes. There are times I really look forward to Christmas, and others when I couldn’t be bothered, or that it seems harder than usual. This year I’m tending towards the latter, and what I’m really looking forward to is the summer that begins on Boxing Day.
I think I’ve said to you before, but figure out what it is that you liked about Christmas in the past, before you ever tried to have kids, and then take those bits and make them your own. And when in doubt, travelling can be a wonderful way to avoid the hype around it, whether it’s going somewhere exotic (though if you do, beware – Thailand, for example, a lovely Buddhist country, adores Christmas, and all the hotels host large Christmas dinners that are compulsory (to pay for at least) if you’re a guest, when I’d much rather go out for a good Thai meal!) or just renting a cottage somewhere and chilling out, or spending the day exploring. We once drove around Hawaii on Christmas Day, and had such a good time we never noticed it was Christmas.
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Hi Mali I love the idea of just renting an isolated cottage… Good heads-up about Thailand: I had no idea they made such a big deal about it
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All my favourite Christmas decorations are from Thailand! I’m probably one of the few people who has felt elephant decorations on her tree. lol
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It’s on a different level, but it reminds me of those delightful christian types who publicly appropriate Christmas while wagging the finger at the so-called hypocrisy of the non-God types for enjoying the spoils and rituals. I delight in reminding them they robbed it from the pagans in the first place, who were quite entitled to feast on Curly Wurlys for breakfast and other wintry civilised behaviour like bunking off work and not having to remember what day it is. Same goes for the dedicated followers of Santa – it’s one element of a festival that belongs to us all, and which we (unfortunately) have to give ourselves permission to evade or invade. I hope your slump is restorative.
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I love the fact that Christ’s birthday was cut’n’pasted on top of a pagan do – when I’ve had a gut-full of the vomitous Marks & Spencer’s version of Crimbo I remind myself that it’s all about lighting a big fire and begging the sun to come back, and nothing else. Hurray for the pagans
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In lieu of a card, here’s my electronic winterfest greeting to you. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DrQRS40OKNE
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LOVE IT!!!
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Well, if you like it, then put on the show for yourself! if you don’t, do whatever makes you happy!:)
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After moving to another country and not going “home for Christmas” (set up boundaries), my husband and I are really enjoying our quiet x-mas days. We eat too much and drink too much, usually in our pyjamas, some years we visit others here and other times we just stay in. This year we’re off to a nice restaurant on the 23rd and are invited to a dinner party for the 24th (also a childfree couple). It has been really nice not having to run around, driving everywhere, and be around children during this time. So yeah, I can say you can enjoy this time of year again and cheers to boundaries.
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I think you hit the nail on the head.. we are both not in our own countries but are each going to respective relatives this year: I think I wish we were spending it together, here…
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I recommend putting on your pyjamas, having a glass of Bailey’s and watching a Muppet Christmas Carol….. or whatever you like to have a bit of ‘you time’. I understand your sentiments completely. I might think about going away another year. What a good plan! X x
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Bailey’s + Muppets I like!
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My husband and I have been struggling with this. We are still trying to have a baby – but each year Christmas feels further and further from joyful. I think if we reach the end of our infertility journey, still childless, we will veto the holidays and spend them on vacation somewhere warm and exotic. Christmas is so family oriented, that I think the only way to get through them is to create a whole new tradition that is not tied into children.
Take some time and pamper yourself!
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I definitely like the idea of warm and exotic…
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I’ll admit that I don’t celebrate Christmas, so I feel no pressure to do anything on Christmas or during the lead up. But I understand feeling left out when it is every single place you turn. Because everything is closed that day, we stay in our pyjamas, eat appetizers for dinner (with toothpicks and little cocktail napkins!), and play video games, and read. Knowing that’s what we’ll be doing makes me look forward to the day.
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Oh, Christmas. Nothing like a holiday about a miracle baby to pour salt in the wounds… I say do it your way. We have traditions but they’re flexible, so this year we don’t have a tree but we always have a decorated mantle with our two stockings and the sad one for the cats. 🙂 This year we run away to Vermont, where we can hole up in our lovely room and stay in pajamas and drink if we want to or go snowtubing and then eat our faces off at dinner… and we aren’t reminded that we have no one sneaking down the stairs to see what Santa brought as much. We can’t do it every year, but this year it seemed important. I bought a new “Christmas COuntdown” thing that’s a lasercut wooden tree and then every day is a new woodland critter, and it’s ALL FOR ME AND BRYCE, not for kids. We are lucky though, not a lot of family with little ones so it’s not rubbed in our faces even when we stay home. But, why not celebrate it how you want and make new traditions for yourself, for your own enjoyment and whimsy? (ALso, it helps that we don’t have cable and so commercials on TV don’t slam all the magic down our throats, ha). Happy holidays to you! May you find some joy in something other than expensive Christmas crackers. Or may that cracker hold a little bottle of booze instead of a toy… 🙂
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Thank you Jess. From next year onwards..
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Ugh. It seems like December is hard for a lot of people this year, myself included. Hanging in there with you!
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Greetings to you BnB
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