In May last year I sat in front of my doctor, having diagnosed myself (rightly or wrongly) with the symptoms of premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD): feelings of depression, hopelessness and spiralling anxiety; severe mood swings and quite violent anger; feeling out of control and horribly overwhelmed; and, most worryingly, very dark thoughts that I would use to comfort myself, i.e. ‘there is always a way out of this if I need to take it’.
Some of it was my soul-destroying job and bad cultural fit at work, where the chat was usually about kids. I imagined that everyone around me was so preoccupied with their families that it compensated for everything else, distracted them from the day-to-day grind. It all added to my panicky fears of loneliness and getting older.
The GP gave me Seroxat: it filled my head with wet sand and rendered me unable to finish a sentence so I abandoned it after five days. But on the way out of the doc’s, she called me back and said: ‘Completely anecdotally, some women are having good results with red krill oil, but I can’t guarantee it would be effective‘ – I sneered inwardly: how could fish oil help me when I’d been shelling out on those expensive vitamin B horse pills for years, and they seemed to make me feel worse?
I reduced my working hours for the next seven months (highly recommended!) and felt better about work, but still had the erratic moods, foggy head and feelings of anger and anxiety. In February 2016 I happened to spot some extra-strength red krill oil on special offer, and I bought it on a whim.
I assure you that I am never given to fancy – I am the most sceptical of sceptics when it comes to unconventional ‘cures’ – but my head fog seemed to clear after a week, and I have felt better ever since: the moods have stabilised, the dark thoughts have gone, and I feel generally slightly elevated, like a switch has been flicked.
I don’t want to jinx it by saying all this, and I hope it isn’t a placebo effect, but I wanted to throw it out there in case anyone else would like to give it a try: there’s nothing to lose, after all, apart from maybe €20 a month.
(See other Microblog Mondays posts at Stirrup Queens here)
Different Shores 
What a relief. Good stuff. And I’m sold – I’m on fluoxetine at the moment and sentence structure under construction since. Will let you know if I enjoy similar results. Thanks for this.
LikeLike
I was very feeble with the SSRI and barely gave it a chance really. And I’d never seen any effects at all with anything ‘natural’ (St John’s Wort, vits, Agnus Castus etc, I’ve tried everything) until I tried this stuff and I’m sure I get a slight buzz off it. Bastard’s Law it will probably stop working now I’ve written this.
LikeLike
Right, let’s not talk about it anymore incase I detonate said Law. (buzz, you say? OK, OK, I’m going…)
LikeLike
Buzz might be exaggerating it a bit but it seems to be doing something!
LikeLike
Thanks for the recommendation – will give it a try!
Re: B vitamins…were you ever tested for MTHFR? I have the same reaction & need methylated B’s…
Love love love your writing, by the way!
LikeLike
Hi Trish, thanks so much! I just looked MTHFR up, I’ll have a read about it – the Bs don’t seem to do anything for me at all, but I feel like I should be taking them, for some reason – maybe not though.
LikeLike
Definitely worth a look…lots of us in the IF/RPL world have MTHFR, and getting the right formulation of these vitamins (l-methylfolate, etc.) is crucial for our mental health & wellbeing!
LikeLike
Fingers crossed you keep feeling the benefits of the Krill Oil.
Also – that is a gorgeous gorgeous photo. Location?
LikeLike
Hi Mali, that’s the Lofoten Islands, Norway, – Hamnoy. It was stunning
LikeLike
I agree with Mali about the gorgeous photo!
Very interesting about the Krill Oil! Maybe if I find some on sale I’ll give it a try too. Most days I feel like I’m walking around in a fog too.
Oh, and completely unrelated, every time I see “MTHFR” I think “motherfucker.” Therefore I call it the motherfucker gene mutation. 🙂
LikeLike
HAHA BnB first thing i thought was that it was an acronym for mo’fo!!
LikeLike
I highly recommend a CD audio program called: “Attacking Anxiety & Depression”. I had those issues for years and years and when 9/11 happened I nearly became non-functional & tried this program as a last ditch effort. You can absolutely get over these issues (and eventually get off medications). And stop the stupid panic attacks altogether. They’ve helped thousands (probably millions by now). It’s nothing crazy or fanatical… it just helps you re-think how you think. I have no connection to them whatsoever. People with anxiety are always skeptical (because we think negatively even though we don’t think we do) but please just read about it (on Amazon or wherever… they’re everywhere.) They’ve been around since the 1990’s. Not only isn’t a rip-off, but their prices have actually gone way down since I did it.
LikeLike
Thanks so much for that – it’s always great to get word-of-mouth recommendations for stuff that has worked for people. You’re right about being sceptical, comes with the territory I suppose..
LikeLike
Hey, even a placebo effect is an effect. Hurray for options!
LikeLiked by 1 person
True!
LikeLike
What a relief that you found something that worked for you. Glad you’re in a good place.
LikeLiked by 1 person
This is the first time I hear about red krill oil. I am glad it works for you :-).
LikeLike
Thanks Elaine
LikeLike
As one who has been diagnosed with multiple food sensitivities, reproductive and gall-bladder issues and depression, I have come to the conclusion that there’s a reason doctors are said to “practice” medicine. And yeah, I am with you; I too have discovered how one medication can cause worse problems than the one it’s meant to solve.
I recently read that our digestive system is responsible for 70% of our immune system. Since a compromised immune system can result in numerous autoimmune and other issues, it seems to me that what we eat (and don’t eat) can screw up our bodies in ways we can’t possibly imagine. It stands to reason (in my mind) that if certain food can cause the problem, then changing dietary habits should help to fix it.
So I can see how the red krill oil might help. It might be replacing a nutrient or two that you’ve been lacking, who knows? I’ll take a look at it too because I am on a never-ending search for ways to improve my gut health. (It certainly can’t hurt a traveler to have healthy digestive and immune systems, right?) You might be interested in taking the gut type quiz at draxe.com; if nothing else the website will give you things to think about. 🙂
LikeLike
Hi Linda thanks for your comment. I’ve also read a lot of new stuff lately about the connection between gut health and so many things: anxiety, chronic fatigue, depression, autism even – I’m pretty sure what we eat/don’t eat can definitely screw up our bodies (and heads). The red krill does seem to give a mild ‘lift’. I’ll check out that link; thanks for that
LikeLiked by 1 person
The placebo effect is nothing to sneeze at–it IS an actual effect, after all. 😉 Regardless, I’m so very glad to hear you found something that works for you! And re: the other supplements not working, IDK about Ireland, but in America the supplements industry is so unregulated it’s scary. Many herbal supplements contain no genetic markers for the herbs they supposedly contain, and many others contain all sorts of contaminants (including common allergens, such as wheat) that are not listed on the labels. Yikes!
That said, good quality seafood in general is a powerful thing to include in one’s diet for many reasons, and it may be that your body just needed a boost of something it includes (as Linda suggested above). And I bet it would be hard to fake red krill oil without just putting other fish / seafood oil in instead, haha. So even the fake stuff could be pretty decent.
Personally, I’m a big fan of working with tinctures (made from fresh plant, esp. in the case of St. J’s Wort) and nourishing herbal infusions à la herbalist Susun Weed (which are really different from ‘herbal teas’), as well as with a really solid overall diet and self-care practice. I find it to be far safer, less expensive and more effective than pill supplements. But it’s not for everyone! It takes education and effort and interest and all that. Some people need Prozac. Some people need supplements. Some people need other things. Some people need all the things. And all of that’s OK!
(Side note–This is something I talk about in more detail on a recent episode of the Tiny Giant Losses podcast. I hope that sharing the link here is useful and non-spammy! If you’d rather not include it, I understand. http://www.blogtalkradio.com/susunweed/2016/10/26/tiny-giant-losses–interview-w-filmmaker-jhene-erwin-more-on-babyloss )
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hi there thanks for the comment and also the link, I will check that out myself too. I’m still buying the Red Krill and I seem to definitely get something from it – I felt down all the time before I started. So yes, if it’s a placebo effect, it’s a bloody good one!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yeah, placebo effects can be very powerful, especially for things like mood and motivation! In many cultures, ceremony and ritual are used for placebo effects, especially by shamans and other healers. Strangely it kind of is AND isn’t like, ‘Oh, the magic spell worked!’ The magic is in the belief in the magic. 😉
Of course, I’m all for actual, non-belief-based medicine and nourishment, too. We can’t ‘believe’ food into our bellies and, if someone has cancer, I’d never tell them to just ‘believe’ it away! But believing and also doing things about it can be very powerful. This is a big part of what I’m addressing on an ongoing basis on the podcasts now, starting with the first episode. It’s also briefly summarized on the TGL blog on Patreon here: https://www.patreon.com/posts/steps-of-healing-6683964
The basic idea is ‘First, do no harm”–whenever possible, choose the healing approach with the least potential for damage. So, if I were in a major car accident, surgery would be an obvious option immediately afterward. But opting in for totally unneeded elective surgery might not be a particularly wise call. Each approach to healing has its correct uses and improper uses, and choosing skillfully is the name of the game.
Anyway, yes, I’m SO glad you’re getting the support you need and that you are taking steps toward healing the depression, anxiety, mood swings, etc., that you had been experiencing. Infertility and other forms of babyloss can take us to some dark places, and going there can be a necessary part of healing, but staying there can be a real b*tch of a trap! It seems that the supplement and (I presume) blogging are both helping you through the difficulties that so many of us experience, and that is truly wonderful. ❤
LikeLike
Thank you so much Tinygiantlosses. I think sometimes the problem with infertility (especially here) is that if you have insurance they encourage you to have as many elective procedures as possible. Some are useful – laparoscopy – others more dubious, e.g a hysteroscopy ‘just in case’…. Lots of things to thing about.
Blogging is definitely therapeutic, yes
LikeLike
Yeesh. In the U.S., it is rarely covered, but they usually encourage you to do it anyway, haha. It’s the ‘if you want it bad enough’ game. (Which is really the ‘pay us all you can and go through as much crap as you’re able to’ game some of the time.)
LikeLike